Thoroughly Thoughtout Methodology

So much thought has gone into the origin of cupcake. More specifically, this Cupcake.
What do you reckon the parental units of a cupcake would be?
I don't think it would be the baker, because frankly, that thought is just a little bit too disturbing for my liking.
I think we should break it down a little bit further then that.
What is used in the making of cupcakes?
The baked goods that we all know and love.
The answer is simple really..
The basic ingredients are flour, eggs, sugar and milk.
I think, when referred to my parental units, they shall become the Rooster and the Hen.
Afterall, hens lay eggs, without which a cupcake would rarely survive, and roosters marry hens..
My barnyard logic is infallible!
I would have gone with milk, but I don't think my mother would react to kindly to being called a cow...

When considering a guest list for a wedding there are many things that a young Bridal Cupcake must take into account.
First, let it be known that actually compiling a guest list isn't that hard at all.
All one has to do is simply log onto facebook, find one of those stalker applications that counts how many times people have looked at, commented on and liked your past activities and invite the top 15 people on that list.
There, job done!
But if one were to work on that logic when actually compiling a list of guests, then their wedding budget would be more blown out then New Years Eve in New York city.
The true hard part with the whole guest list scenario, is deciding who to NOT invite.

Now you know as well as me that your second cousin's girlfriend's aunty isn't going to come, but you met her once briefly at the shopping centre while you were hiding behind the escalators praying to gods that your second cousin wouldn't see you. And when he did he came over and introduced his girlfriend and her aunty.
You hit it off, spoke maybe three words to each other and now you have this twisting feeling in the pit of your stomach that you have an obligation to invite her to celebrate your bake sale.
Let me stop you for a moment and tell you right now, you don't have to invite her.
If there is one thing this Cupcake has learnt in compiling her guest list with the Muffin, its that if you don't talk to them, then you don't have to invite them.
My side of the family is easy, you can count them on two hands..
You don't really even need to use your toes.
But the amount of aunties and uncle and cousins and miscellaneous others that he has on his side of the family is just nuts.
So we are going to have to be brutal.

Consider also, those childhood friends, without whom you would have stayed out of a lot more trouble, stayed sober once or two more times and, when pondering things such as weddings 10 years ago, swore that you would not even consider getting married unless the other was at your side.
The childhood friends you haven't spoken to in 9 years?
I'll let you figure that one out.

Now I must confess, I am having a slight issue with m- I mean OUR guest list.
We have about 60 too many people on it.
So we have decided to be brutal.

We have considered people and their travel arrangements, given that a lot of my guests will be travelling from Melbourne, and we have arrived at the decision that same will not be allowed a plus one.
It sounds harsh, yes, but realistically when you are paying $80 a head for someone to bring along a fling they found at the last minute, it just doesn't seem viable. So alas, that is one method we are employing to keep the numbers down... And the drunken hook-ups possible.

Another conclusion we have arrived at, although this one was slightly more difficult, because we know how some people will react, but we have decided to make it a child free zone.
I love spawn as much as the next baked good, but I cant say I love the idea of them being around people with that much alcohol. I think it is slightly irresponsible to allow a child to see their parents so drunk at such a young age..
That and if it were me, I would be bored out of my skull!!

The last method we have employed to keep down the numbers on our list of eternal doom, is culling.
I figure that there are too many people in the world anyway, so what's a few less?
They do it with kangaroos, why not my guests?
Cull a few of em off and I wont have to worry about inviting them along.
Realistically though, I have thought long and hard about it.
There are some people that I DO feel obliged to invite, I will just have to cross my fingers and hope that they cant make it. Those that I am umm-ing and ahh-ing about are another issue..
Maybe they should be the first to go in the Great Guestlist Culling..
Anyone know the number to a good, reliable assassin?
Maybe the in-laws can get the bill for this one...