So much thought has gone into the origin of cupcake. More specifically, this Cupcake.
What do you reckon the parental units of a cupcake would be?
I don't think it would be the baker, because frankly, that thought is just a little bit too disturbing for my liking.
I think we should break it down a little bit further then that.
What is used in the making of cupcakes?
The baked goods that we all know and love.
The answer is simple really..
The basic ingredients are flour, eggs, sugar and milk.
I think, when referred to my parental units, they shall become the Rooster and the Hen.
Afterall, hens lay eggs, without which a cupcake would rarely survive, and roosters marry hens..
My barnyard logic is infallible!
I would have gone with milk, but I don't think my mother would react to kindly to being called a cow...
When considering a guest list for a wedding there are many things that a young Bridal Cupcake must take into account.
First, let it be known that actually compiling a guest list isn't that hard at all.
All one has to do is simply log onto facebook, find one of those stalker applications that counts how many times people have looked at, commented on and liked your past activities and invite the top 15 people on that list.
There, job done!
But if one were to work on that logic when actually compiling a list of guests, then their wedding budget would be more blown out then New Years Eve in New York city.
The true hard part with the whole guest list scenario, is deciding who to NOT invite.
Now you know as well as me that your second cousin's girlfriend's aunty isn't going to come, but you met her once briefly at the shopping centre while you were hiding behind the escalators praying to gods that your second cousin wouldn't see you. And when he did he came over and introduced his girlfriend and her aunty.
You hit it off, spoke maybe three words to each other and now you have this twisting feeling in the pit of your stomach that you have an obligation to invite her to celebrate your bake sale.
Let me stop you for a moment and tell you right now, you don't have to invite her.
If there is one thing this Cupcake has learnt in compiling her guest list with the Muffin, its that if you don't talk to them, then you don't have to invite them.
My side of the family is easy, you can count them on two hands..
You don't really even need to use your toes.
But the amount of aunties and uncle and cousins and miscellaneous others that he has on his side of the family is just nuts.
So we are going to have to be brutal.
Consider also, those childhood friends, without whom you would have stayed out of a lot more trouble, stayed sober once or two more times and, when pondering things such as weddings 10 years ago, swore that you would not even consider getting married unless the other was at your side.
The childhood friends you haven't spoken to in 9 years?
I'll let you figure that one out.
Now I must confess, I am having a slight issue with m- I mean OUR guest list.
We have about 60 too many people on it.
So we have decided to be brutal.
We have considered people and their travel arrangements, given that a lot of my guests will be travelling from Melbourne, and we have arrived at the decision that same will not be allowed a plus one.
It sounds harsh, yes, but realistically when you are paying $80 a head for someone to bring along a fling they found at the last minute, it just doesn't seem viable. So alas, that is one method we are employing to keep the numbers down... And the drunken hook-ups possible.
Another conclusion we have arrived at, although this one was slightly more difficult, because we know how some people will react, but we have decided to make it a child free zone.
I love spawn as much as the next baked good, but I cant say I love the idea of them being around people with that much alcohol. I think it is slightly irresponsible to allow a child to see their parents so drunk at such a young age..
That and if it were me, I would be bored out of my skull!!
The last method we have employed to keep down the numbers on our list of eternal doom, is culling.
I figure that there are too many people in the world anyway, so what's a few less?
They do it with kangaroos, why not my guests?
Cull a few of em off and I wont have to worry about inviting them along.
Realistically though, I have thought long and hard about it.
There are some people that I DO feel obliged to invite, I will just have to cross my fingers and hope that they cant make it. Those that I am umm-ing and ahh-ing about are another issue..
Maybe they should be the first to go in the Great Guestlist Culling..
Anyone know the number to a good, reliable assassin?
Maybe the in-laws can get the bill for this one...
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Procreation and its Byproducts
The topic of childbirth is a very ambiguous thing to find amongst conversation these days.
And honestly, who is surprised. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t charming, and it isn’t something I would want to talk about.
I know when this Cupcake and Muffin decide that perhaps we would want to procreate and have some hybrid baked goods, I am going to be pacing in the waiting room right alongside the Muffin as it is being born.
But no matter how much we try to avoid it, it is an inevitability.
Childbirth that is.
From the point of conception, otherwise known as the fun part, to the point when the spawn moves out to build a life and family of its own, otherwise known as the only other fun part, you have in your hands another human life that looks to you for advice, love, affection and most of all, money.
You have to guide, teach and love the thing unconditionally and if they fuck up, you have to teach them pick themselves up, accept the consequences, sometimes dealt out by the parental, and move on with life, hoping that they have learnt a valuable lesson and wont make the same foolish mistakes again.
Some parentals aren’t that lucky from what I have seen in my years.
Now let me clear one thing up after all of this musing of procreating. No, I am not up the duff.
No there won’t be any miniaturised baked good scurrying about in the near future and no we are not considering it until my stipulations are met.
Those being:
A. we have a puppy. (After all if we can’t afford a puppy how can we afford a child?)
B. We are married. (It's one of the few traditions I have insisted on holding on to... Although I can’t for the life of me figure out why.)
So just to clarify, Cupcake is not pregnant.
My musings on procreation and its by-products has brought me to another train of thought.
That of ex lovers.
Two subjects that are more interconnected then most people give credit. The two, in fact, go hand in hand on more occasions then is generally proper.
If you had a lover and things fell apart. Is it necessary to go back for another taste? Is it proper to continue on with a carnal relationship regardless of whether or not feelings that were once involved have soured and become something akin to pity or, heaven forbid, hate?
Can there still be chemistry after you have been together so completely emotionally, mentally and all other things that come with a relationship?
Let's be honest with ourselves, we have all been there at some point or another.
Maybe one of you didn’t want to let go; maybe you were holding on to something that once was, a memory, a feeling, an emotion; maybe they were just crazy good in the sack.
Either way, you have to wonder whether or not the whole situation is worth the headache.
What if a child was born of such a tryst?
What can that child expect?
What if the mother, or father, whoever maintains custody, loses their temper and announces to the spawn that they were an accident.
They whole situation is a little bit sticky and has great potential to end up as a drama worthy of Neighbours.
Ok, so not the most blithe of subjects for a blog, but one that I has been playing on my mind for the past couple of days.
I can’t imagine why...
Up next, the joys of guest lists; Engagement Cards, fact or fiction; Picking a Receptions Venue in all its glory; and Hurdles faced by cupcakes getting married.
And honestly, who is surprised. It isn’t pretty, it isn’t charming, and it isn’t something I would want to talk about.
I know when this Cupcake and Muffin decide that perhaps we would want to procreate and have some hybrid baked goods, I am going to be pacing in the waiting room right alongside the Muffin as it is being born.
But no matter how much we try to avoid it, it is an inevitability.
Childbirth that is.
From the point of conception, otherwise known as the fun part, to the point when the spawn moves out to build a life and family of its own, otherwise known as the only other fun part, you have in your hands another human life that looks to you for advice, love, affection and most of all, money.
You have to guide, teach and love the thing unconditionally and if they fuck up, you have to teach them pick themselves up, accept the consequences, sometimes dealt out by the parental, and move on with life, hoping that they have learnt a valuable lesson and wont make the same foolish mistakes again.
Some parentals aren’t that lucky from what I have seen in my years.
Now let me clear one thing up after all of this musing of procreating. No, I am not up the duff.
No there won’t be any miniaturised baked good scurrying about in the near future and no we are not considering it until my stipulations are met.
Those being:
A. we have a puppy. (After all if we can’t afford a puppy how can we afford a child?)
B. We are married. (It's one of the few traditions I have insisted on holding on to... Although I can’t for the life of me figure out why.)
So just to clarify, Cupcake is not pregnant.
My musings on procreation and its by-products has brought me to another train of thought.
That of ex lovers.
Two subjects that are more interconnected then most people give credit. The two, in fact, go hand in hand on more occasions then is generally proper.
If you had a lover and things fell apart. Is it necessary to go back for another taste? Is it proper to continue on with a carnal relationship regardless of whether or not feelings that were once involved have soured and become something akin to pity or, heaven forbid, hate?
Can there still be chemistry after you have been together so completely emotionally, mentally and all other things that come with a relationship?
Let's be honest with ourselves, we have all been there at some point or another.
Maybe one of you didn’t want to let go; maybe you were holding on to something that once was, a memory, a feeling, an emotion; maybe they were just crazy good in the sack.
Either way, you have to wonder whether or not the whole situation is worth the headache.
What if a child was born of such a tryst?
What can that child expect?
What if the mother, or father, whoever maintains custody, loses their temper and announces to the spawn that they were an accident.
They whole situation is a little bit sticky and has great potential to end up as a drama worthy of Neighbours.
Ok, so not the most blithe of subjects for a blog, but one that I has been playing on my mind for the past couple of days.
I can’t imagine why...
Up next, the joys of guest lists; Engagement Cards, fact or fiction; Picking a Receptions Venue in all its glory; and Hurdles faced by cupcakes getting married.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A job
So work is killing me at the moment. It's amazing how much one can love a job and at the same time be tearing their hair out because of it.
As many people know this cupcake is a graphic designer. I work in house for a small publishing company doing the design work and layouts for a couple of magazines. It is basically the grown up job I want to be doing when I, well, grow up I guess.
At this very moment I am sitting at my desk, staring at my computer screen trying like hell to make a quarter page ad fit in when there is no space for it. I am relatively certain that this job may land me in a nice, warm, padded white room.
I have a sticker on my monitor, well it's a post it really, and it has the words 'Stop. Breathe. Relax' written on it. Greatest words in the planet I have to say.
I have come to three major conclusions since starting this job almost a year ago.
The first is that I am so very easily distracted, more so perhaps then a kitten.
The second is that anyone who wants to be a graphic designer will learn more on the job then they will in any classroom.
And the third is that there isn't a profession on the planet that I would rather be in.
With these thoughts booming in my already loud head, with the faint after thought that I might be made to eat those words at a later date, I return to work.
I think I want to go shopping tonight..
Oh and I know that my job has nothing to do with engagement or weddings, but I figure we are all interconnected in the grand scheme of things..
Plus a work stressed cupcake leads to a home stressed cupcake which leads to muffin crumbs flying all over the place.
As many people know this cupcake is a graphic designer. I work in house for a small publishing company doing the design work and layouts for a couple of magazines. It is basically the grown up job I want to be doing when I, well, grow up I guess.
At this very moment I am sitting at my desk, staring at my computer screen trying like hell to make a quarter page ad fit in when there is no space for it. I am relatively certain that this job may land me in a nice, warm, padded white room.
I have a sticker on my monitor, well it's a post it really, and it has the words 'Stop. Breathe. Relax' written on it. Greatest words in the planet I have to say.
I have come to three major conclusions since starting this job almost a year ago.
The first is that I am so very easily distracted, more so perhaps then a kitten.
The second is that anyone who wants to be a graphic designer will learn more on the job then they will in any classroom.
And the third is that there isn't a profession on the planet that I would rather be in.
With these thoughts booming in my already loud head, with the faint after thought that I might be made to eat those words at a later date, I return to work.
I think I want to go shopping tonight..
Oh and I know that my job has nothing to do with engagement or weddings, but I figure we are all interconnected in the grand scheme of things..
Plus a work stressed cupcake leads to a home stressed cupcake which leads to muffin crumbs flying all over the place.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Is it possible to just sit back and enjoy being engaged?
What would a male cupcake be?
A muffin?
Is it politically correct for a cupcake to marry a muffin?
A cupcake isnt very manly..
I dont care what politics says, this cupcake is marrying a muffin..
In the past two weeks I have pondered to myself, is it possible to just sit back and be engaged?
I recall at the start of our relationship, Muffin mentioned something about getting engaged, freaked me out a little bit and I responded with "It would engagement"
Almost a year later, I ask myself, do people have a long engagement so they can sit back and enjoy being engaged?
I dont quite understand it.
An engagement is to marriage what baking is to cakes.
It is the time you mix the batter together, pour it into the tin and stick it in the other, the end result when the timer goes off (Or in my case, my nose tells me that it's cooked) is a dream wedding and a happy marriage.
Which leads my back to my original question, why do people feel the need to leave their cake in the oven for longer then other cakes?
Why do people feel the need to have a long engagement in this day and age.
By this day and age I mean that it is more common for a couple to live together before they marry, it is common for a couple to have children, animals and joint bank accounts before they share a name.
If you live with your signifcant other, share your life with him, or her, whichever is your preference, then why make half a decision.
Now dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that people who live together HAVE to get married, I am saying why, when you already share so much, get engaged and not get married?
People get engaged to get married. In my mind the engagement period is just another name for wedding planning period.
If you get engaged without getting married, it is like you are sitting on top of the razor wire fence but cant decide whether or not to trespass on government territory.
Which brings me back to the wedding of the Cupcake and the Muffin.
It is currently July, the wedding is the beginning of November next year.
That gives us a good 15 and a half months for our cake to be made and baked.
This, I believe, is a good period to be engaged. It gives the Cupcake ample time to pull out all the stops and create the perfect wedding for herse- the two of us.
And should, on top of the planning time, give us a chance to sit back and enjoy being together in all of our sickenly sweetness. Or old married coupleness, which is probably a more accurate description.
Should being the operative word in that sentence..
Two weekds, one day, 9 hours, 47 minutes.
In my experience, it doesnt..
A muffin?
Is it politically correct for a cupcake to marry a muffin?
A cupcake isnt very manly..
I dont care what politics says, this cupcake is marrying a muffin..
In the past two weeks I have pondered to myself, is it possible to just sit back and be engaged?
I recall at the start of our relationship, Muffin mentioned something about getting engaged, freaked me out a little bit and I responded with "It would engagement"
Almost a year later, I ask myself, do people have a long engagement so they can sit back and enjoy being engaged?
I dont quite understand it.
An engagement is to marriage what baking is to cakes.
It is the time you mix the batter together, pour it into the tin and stick it in the other, the end result when the timer goes off (Or in my case, my nose tells me that it's cooked) is a dream wedding and a happy marriage.
Which leads my back to my original question, why do people feel the need to leave their cake in the oven for longer then other cakes?
Why do people feel the need to have a long engagement in this day and age.
By this day and age I mean that it is more common for a couple to live together before they marry, it is common for a couple to have children, animals and joint bank accounts before they share a name.
If you live with your signifcant other, share your life with him, or her, whichever is your preference, then why make half a decision.
Now dont get me wrong, I'm not saying that people who live together HAVE to get married, I am saying why, when you already share so much, get engaged and not get married?
People get engaged to get married. In my mind the engagement period is just another name for wedding planning period.
If you get engaged without getting married, it is like you are sitting on top of the razor wire fence but cant decide whether or not to trespass on government territory.
Which brings me back to the wedding of the Cupcake and the Muffin.
It is currently July, the wedding is the beginning of November next year.
That gives us a good 15 and a half months for our cake to be made and baked.
This, I believe, is a good period to be engaged. It gives the Cupcake ample time to pull out all the stops and create the perfect wedding for herse- the two of us.
And should, on top of the planning time, give us a chance to sit back and enjoy being together in all of our sickenly sweetness. Or old married coupleness, which is probably a more accurate description.
Should being the operative word in that sentence..
Two weekds, one day, 9 hours, 47 minutes.
In my experience, it doesnt..
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Engagement
Here I sit, in my lounge watching the news. It has been two weeks, 10 hours and 3 minutes since the beloved B not-so-spontaneously popped the question.
I think to myself, is this what I can expect from married life?
Watching TV with B, hanging out, enjoying life as it comes. Pretty much everything we have been doing since we moved in together 11 months ago.
I sincerely hope so, we are comfortable, easy.. In short we work.
But there is one hurdle I must jump before we can settle in to a happily married life together...
Engagement..
The proposal was perfect.
Being the cluey bitch that I am, there was no chance for him taking me out to dinner and me not cottoning on as to what was going on.
So he took one of the days off work that he was owed, then he woke me up before I had to get up for work and gave me a single red rose. Being a girl, with girly genes, I got super excited,because I love getting flowers. You know, like a girl.
And then he said 'There's more..' He proceeded to kneel down next to the bed and say 'would you like to spend the rest of your days with me?'
I may or may not have squeaked a little bit and said yes.
Two weeks, 10 hours and 10 minutes.
We are happy, comfortable. Life is going on as normal, except my left hand is a little bit heaveir then it was two weeks, 10 hours and 11 minutes ago.
I look up at him as he gets unneccessarily excited about somethign that doesn't affect him.
I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him..
I think to myself, is this what I can expect from married life?
Watching TV with B, hanging out, enjoying life as it comes. Pretty much everything we have been doing since we moved in together 11 months ago.
I sincerely hope so, we are comfortable, easy.. In short we work.
But there is one hurdle I must jump before we can settle in to a happily married life together...
Engagement..
The proposal was perfect.
Being the cluey bitch that I am, there was no chance for him taking me out to dinner and me not cottoning on as to what was going on.
So he took one of the days off work that he was owed, then he woke me up before I had to get up for work and gave me a single red rose. Being a girl, with girly genes, I got super excited,because I love getting flowers. You know, like a girl.
And then he said 'There's more..' He proceeded to kneel down next to the bed and say 'would you like to spend the rest of your days with me?'
I may or may not have squeaked a little bit and said yes.
Two weeks, 10 hours and 10 minutes.
We are happy, comfortable. Life is going on as normal, except my left hand is a little bit heaveir then it was two weeks, 10 hours and 11 minutes ago.
I look up at him as he gets unneccessarily excited about somethign that doesn't affect him.
I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him..
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